Ashlei

In my opinion, every great friendship between women/girls starts with someone saying, “I thought you were a bitch when I first met you!”  When I was just about to turn 16 years old, I met the chick that ultimately became one of my oldest and best friends.  We were inseparable through the remaining years of high school.  I often spent more time at her house than my own.  Her parents became my parents.  To this day, I still have the notes we passed between classes.  I have notebooks we swapped back and forth “chatting” about our days when we weren’t together.  We made plans.  We talked about our boyfriends.  We worked out our issues with the worlds we lived in, together.  Today, I went through one of those notebooks with a completely different perspective than ever before.

She was in the room when I welcomed my daughter.  She was at my side when I grieved my son.  She was a part of both of my weddings.  Late night conversations were abundant over the years, though the frequency changed as our lives became more involved.  No matter the distance or the time between us, our friendship remained constant.   There are very few life events I can recall without the presence of Ashlei Nicole Stroud.  Sorrow, joy, stress, relief, …  I had my Ash.

It is rare to find kindred spirits who remain in your life beyond a season.  When it happens to you, embrace and cherish the days this existence permits.  As cliché as the saying is, you never know when the journey is through.  My heart aches as I come to terms with the end of a rich and meaningful journey.  Numb is not a word that captures the true nature of my current status.  I feel everything right now.  I ache for her sweet family.  I ache for those who love her.  I ache for so many reasons that will only subside with time and acceptance.  The impact she made is eternal and evident. 

Ashlei’s compassion for the human condition is surpassed only by her propensity to love unconditionally.  Her heart gave in ways you could feel just by being around her.  Her affection for humor in its most inappropriate forms might be one of my favorite attributes of her rambunctious personality.  There are countless photographs I have of her simply with her finger up her nose.  Never an opportunity skipped to have someone pull her finger.  Too many times she hot boxed me in her car.  Even as grown adults.  In her has been the epitome of combining silliness and depth.  Meaningful and heartfelt conversations were never without a well-placed burp.  To know her was to know how to laugh while crying.

A piece of me is incomplete knowing I can’t call her right now.  There are long steps ahead for me to grieve this beautiful life I was blessed to have in mine.  This is hard.  It is hard because it means so much to lose.  I love you, Ashlei.  Hug your dad for me.  If you can find them, hug my angels, too.