Love

There must needs be opposition in all things.  In order to know darkness, one must know light.  To understand hate, one must understand love.  There has to be an opposing force to all things to have universal balance.  In all of the extreme cases, there has to be opposition.  It’s a bitch really.  I remember the first time I said the word “hate.”  My father immediately had me explain what that meant.  How could I know how to hate Brussels sprouts?  It was puzzling.  I was maybe 7 years old.  That was a complex question apparently and because I couldn’t answer, it resulted in the gag fest of masticating those damn things until they were gone.  He was quite strict with knowing how to use your words.  Years later, he told me that you couldn’t hate something until you have loved it.  Whoa.

Now that I’m a grown up and have a slightly better comprehension of emotions, that conversation has frequently replayed in my head.  There must be opposition in all things.  You can’t hate something until you have loved it.  I have argued that many times in these elaborate musings I entertain in my head.  I have surely never loved terrorism, but I sure hate it.  I have never loved paying bills, but it is certain that I hate it.  However, if you take that philosophy and apply it to the dynamics of human relationships…it bears some logic.

Love is gorgeous.  It lightens your aura.  It places slight flickers of sparkle in your eyes.  Love empowers your convictions.  Love has this poetic ability to shine optimism in every shady corner of your perspective.  Alanis Morrissette wrote this awesome song called “Head Over Feet.”  One of my favorite lines is “I’ve never felt this healthy before.”  Love does that, too.  It’s nuts how incredible being in love, feeling loved, showing love, etc. can shift so many intricate facets of your life.  It’s obvious when someone is feeling love.  They glow. 

Hate is hideous.  It puts dark circles under your eyes.  It haunts your sleep.  Hate fuels every hint of negativity your narrowed mind concocts and turns it into a bonfire.  Hate transforms your hope into despair.  Hate roots itself in your physiology and wretches your guts.  It is equally remarkable to note that when a person is full of hate, it shows.  They’re dim.

Those two life altering emotional experiences are polar opposites of each other.  How would you know what love is without knowing hate?  How would you know what hate is without knowing love?  I thought I knew what hate felt like.  I also thought I knew what love felt like.  I’m not talking about the love of friends, family, children, etc.  I’m talking about that love movies lead us to believe is sitting on a barstool at your local bar just waiting for you to walk in on a rainbow carpet with trumpets blaring your arrival for that one person to immediately recognize you’re amazing and fall over themselves to make you smile.

Getting to know what real love feels and sounds like, has also introduced me to what real hate feels and sounds like.  I couldn’t have had either without the other.  The past couple of months have been so enlightening.  I have actually had to stop for a moment and allow the truth set in and wash over me.  It has been the most fascinating lesson I’ve ever learned.  I’m generalizing just how huge this has been.  Things I thought I had a good concept of were made so clear that it shook me.  Chapters I thought I had closed were suddenly reopened and I have been able to rewrite my account to truly obtain closure.  I have had one of Oprah’s “Ah-ha moments” on steroids.

 I have come into the stage of my evolution where I won’t let a single thing I know is good for me slip through my fingers.  Without hesitation I am eliminating negative forces from my life.  There is always going to be the pull between two opposing directions.  Never will there cease to be choices between relenting and persevering.  But, now that I have this infectious frenzy of joy in my life, the fortitude to see things through to where I want them to be is stronger than ever.  I am so grateful for the place my heart is in and how quickly I have been able to embrace a love I have daydreamed about. 

I recently wrote that I am digging this era of my life.  It’s so immensely true that I could spend pages talking about the specifics of why.  I feel like I’ve grown.  There is a security in my character that is continuously gaining validation.  Truth is drowning lies.  Knowledge is shattering ignorance.  Bravery is slaying cowardice.  Love is devouring the hate.  Joy is lying to rest what has been a very heavy depression.